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everybody fucks everybody sucks everybody cries everybody dies [Nov. 13th, 2008|04:13 pm]
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[Current Mood | nauseated]

If you can forgive the cliche of using a song lyric as an LJ title continue reading.
I find it fitting to my mood...

So I lost.
or gave up.
Gave up is much more accurate if I'm honest with my shitty self.

My parents said. If I was going to live with my boyfriend, I would never have a good relationship with them. They wouldnt talk to me, and didnt want me coming by all the time. Didn't want me around where I would be a bad example to my brothers and sisters. Which is fine because they apperantly think i'm being a bad person anyway. Woo.

I tried to leave and I made my parents miserable. They told people in church about it. They cried and cried.

I couldnt take it.

I love my parents.

But no matter what they were never gonna see things my way. not ever.
Maybe i could have handled it if my dad hadnt shut me out.

When I said I would come back. I told them.
" I didn't think I was doing anything wrong. I still don't I just didn't want to make you miserable."
They wanted to know why I can't say "I'm staying cause it makes you happy"

I told them. Doing this is making me horribly unhappy. I'm so depressed. I'm crying all the time. I can't sleep and I'm exhausted. I'm making my boyfriend extremely upset.

They said I'm tough and unselfish so I can take it.

I feel alone and miserable. I make one move and everyone starts screaming in pain. I make another and someone else screams.

There's no way to make everyone happy. I hate half assing things. and that's what im doing.
I just wanted to be with the person I love and be a damn grownup.

Welcome to my parents basement.
Abandon all hope ye who enter here.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: [info]glamourcorpse
2008-11-14 12:30 am (UTC)

(Link)

Listen, I have never met you, I don't know your parents, but I must say that this situation has gotten out of hand. I'm sorry I am just a little pissed off at your parents at the moment.

For thinking so horribly about you, for ever making you feel bad at all for being a modern, healthy, grown-up, and for thinking you are a bad example. PLEASE. You're honestly, without any false flattery at all, one of the nicest, best, sweetest, good hearted person I know online or anywhere else. CRIPES. What has blinded them like this?

Your parents need to see Crooked Hearts and wise up before things really go pear shaped.

[User Picture]From: [info]fuechslein
2008-11-24 12:12 pm (UTC)

(Link)

Hi there,
I don't know you, I just stumbled upon your blog via your comment @ Ted Naifeh's blog. Out of curiosity I read a few of your entries and I just wanted to say - what the heck is wrong with your parents? I just don't see what is wrong about moving in with your boyfriend if you're an adult? I mean, they obviously live together too, so why shouldn't you? And what does this have to do with GOD? O.o Do they expect you to spend your whole life at their house?
I'm sorry if I missed something here, but from what I read it just doesn't make any sense at all.

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